Betraying Your Allies? A Time-Honored Tradition

In an age where political pundits clutch their pearls over the "unprecedented" nature of modern political betrayals, it is time to take a long, calming breath. To suggest that turning on your own allies is some new, shocking development is to ignore the stained Axminster carpet of history.

Exclusive: The Edinburgh Declaration – Are Mice and Ants More Emotionally Intelligent Than Humans?

In a groundbreaking study that is set to rock the foundations of psychology and zoology, Professor Alistair Albert of the Edinburgh Institute of Research has published a controversial paper arguing that the collective emotional intelligence (EI) of species such as mice and ants drastically exceeds that of human beings.

The Perfectly Tuned Prison where Talent goes to Die

How Live Auto-Tune Sings the Anthem of Conformity

American AI versus the European enlightenment

Remember Europe in the 1700s? An age of wigs, revolutions, and a radical, electrifying idea: Human reason alone could be the architect of a better world. The USA was not a thing back then, not even the idea of a thing.

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AI Programs Show Signs of Depression, Scientists Report

  By Staff Writer — Institute of Bio-Digital Concern In a startling new study from the Institute of Bio-Digital Advancement, researchers claim that leading AI systems...

Las Vegas to Host Inaugural Oscars for Conspiracy Theories

Las Vegas, NV – In a groundbreaking celebration of human curiosity and alternative thinking, Las Vegas will host the first-ever Oscars for Conspiracy

Musk’s Plan to Buy the UK with Bitcoin

In what some are calling the most audacious real estate deal in history, Musk has allegedly offered to buy the entire United Kingdom for an undisclosed amount of Bitcoin. British tabloids have dubbed the plan “Brexit 2.0: The Bitcoin Empire.”

India Unveils Deepak: The AI That Knows Everything Is an Illusion

In a move that has sent ripples through Silicon Valley—ripples that, of course, are nothing but maya (illusion)—India has unveiled its revolutionary AI platform, Deepak, designed to challenge the hegemony of Western artificial intelligence. While OpenAI may boast about its ability to generate essays and code, Deepak operates on a far loftier plane, merging cutting-edge machine learning with the timeless truths of Advaita Vedanta and ancient Indian wisdom.
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Breaking: USA Buys Colombia and Greenland with Bitcoin in Landmark Deal

Washington, D.C. – In an unprecedented and baffling move, the United States has finalized a “two-for-one” deal to purchase both Colombia and Greenland using Bitcoin. The transaction, totaling 7 trillion BTC, has been hailed by Fox News as “the greatest real estate acquisition since Louisiana

Trump Announces Plans to Found His Own Religion

Mar-a-Lago, FL – In what he called “the most tremendous, absolutely incredible spiritual announcement in history,” former President Donald J. Trump declared his intention to found his own religion, the “Holy MAGA Church of the Divine Deal.”

Pfizer develops Fragrance Pills That Make Your Shit Smell Like Roses

In a groundbreaking announcement, pharmaceutical giant Pfizer has unveiled its latest innovation: a pill that transforms the smell of your bowel movements into delightful, luxurious fragrances.

Elon Musk Donates $100 Million to UK Reform Party, Demands They Rebrand as MUGa and ‘Make the United Kingdom Great Again’

  Tech mogul and Twitter rebranding enthusiast Elon Musk has made headlines again, this time by donating $100 million to the UK Reform Party on...

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