In what some are calling the most audacious real estate deal in history, Musk has allegedly offered to buy the entire United Kingdom for an undisclosed amount of Bitcoin. British tabloids have dubbed the plan “Brexit 2.0: The Bitcoin Empire.”
An insider close to Musk said, “Elon’s a big fan of history, and he thinks owning the UK would be like owning a really cool antique. Plus, it’s got castles, pubs, and tea—what’s not to love?”
Redcoats for the Modern Era
One of Musk’s proposed reforms is a referendum within the British military to replace modern uniforms with a “sleeker, Musk-approved version of the redcoat uniform.”
“These uniforms were iconic. Why should the British army look like it’s about to attend a casual Friday when it could look like it’s straight out of a historical epic?” Musk said in a leaked email.
Critics have pointed out that the redcoats famously lost the American Revolutionary War, but Musk dismissed these concerns, stating, “They weren’t using Tesla technology back then. Big difference.”
Prime Minister Musk: A Future Monarch?
Insiders also claim Musk has his sights set on becoming the next Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. His reported slogan, “Make Britannia Musk Again,” has already sparked controversy.
But Musk’s ambitions don’t stop there. The billionaire apparently plans to “modernize” the British monarchy by crowning himself as the new King of the United Kingdom. His vision for a “21st-century monarchy” includes:
• Transforming Buckingham Palace into a “fully sustainable gigafactory.”
• Equipping royal carriages with autopilot technology.
• Introducing an official royal cryptocurrency called “MonarchCoin.”
King Charles is said to be “aware” of Musk’s plans. Royal sources report he was heard muttering, “First a Netflix show from Harry and Meghan, now this? Good grief.”
Public Reaction
Public opinion in the UK is sharply divided. While some Britons are intrigued by the idea of Musk modernizing the monarchy, others are appalled by the uniforms’ colonial cosplay style and his overt disregard for British traditions.
“I don’t want my taxes funding LED capes for soldiers,” said one concerned Londoner. Meanwhile, Musk supporters argue his vision is exactly what Britain needs. “He’s already given us electric cars and reusable rockets. Why not give him a crown?” said one fan wearing a SpaceX hoodie.
International Backlash
The international community has expressed skepticism. French President Emmanuel Macron dismissed Musk’s plans as “the ramblings of a madman,” while Vladimir Putin sarcastically remarked, “Welcome to the autocrat club.”
Musk Responds
In typical Musk fashion, he responded to the backlash on Twitter (or X): “The UK will be the crown jewel of my empire. Why settle for tea when you can have innovation? Also, the uniforms look amazing. Haters gonna hate. Trump is going to get Greenland so I’m going one better. I’m gonna get an empire back.”
Whether Musk’s ambitions to buy the UK, revive redcoats, and become the next monarch succeed remains to be seen. One thing is certain: Elon Musk has proven, once again, that his imagination knows no bounds—or brakes.
