Huddersfield, June 2024 – In an unprecedented and eyebrow-raising move, the Huddersfield Job Centre has started advising unemployed women to upload videos of themselves having sex with their partners to Pornhub as part of their job seeker activity report. The initiative, aimed at addressing the town’s high unemployment rate, has sparked both controversy and curiosity among residents.*
The idea was reportedly floated during a brainstorming session at the job centre, where officials were tasked with finding “outside-the-box” solutions to the ongoing employment crisis. “We were desperate for innovative ideas,” explained Karen Fudge, head of the Huddersfield Job Centre. “But even I was surprised when someone suggested turning to the adult entertainment industry.”
From Jobless to Adult Stars
The new scheme encourages women to create adult content and upload it to Pornhub, framing it as a “creative freelance opportunity.” Participants are required to document their efforts on their job seeker activity report, listing video uploads and viewer statistics alongside more traditional job applications and interview attendances.
“We’re just trying to provide new avenues for income,” said job centre advisor, Bob Smirk. “The adult industry is booming, and with the rise of amateur content creators, why shouldn’t our job seekers get a slice of the pie?”
Mixed Reactions from the Community
Unsurprisingly, the initiative has received mixed reactions. Local resident and mother of three, Jenny Plummer, was baffled when she received the suggestion. “I went in looking for a receptionist job and came out with tips on lighting and camera angles for my ‘new career’. It was surreal.”
Others, however, have embraced the idea with enthusiasm. “I’ve always been a bit of an exhibitionist,” admitted one anonymous participant. “Now I get to explore that side of myself and potentially make a living from it. Plus, it’s a lot more fun than filling out endless job applications.”
Criticism and Controversy
Not everyone is on board with the new strategy. Local MP Geraldine Stark called the scheme “outrageous and exploitative,” arguing that it demeans and objectifies women. “The job centre should be helping women find respectable employment, not pushing them into the adult industry,” she declared.
The local church also weighed in, with Reverend Peter Blunt describing the move as “a sign of societal decay.” “We should be uplifting our community, not encouraging debauchery,” he preached at Sunday service.
A Bold New World of Employment
Despite the backlash, the Huddersfield Job Centre remains defiant. “We understand this isn’t a conventional job search strategy,” Fudge conceded. “But we’re living in unconventional times. Our primary goal is to reduce unemployment and provide opportunities – even if they come with an ‘explicit content’ warning.”
Whether this controversial scheme will be deemed a success remains to be seen. In the meantime, Huddersfield’s job seekers are left to decide whether they’re ready to swap their CVs for HD cameras and venture into the world of amateur porn stardom. As the saying goes, desperate times call for desperate measures – but this might be taking it to a whole new level.
So, if you dead broke with a house to heat and three kids to feed, and you’re thinking about joining the illustrious ranks of the UK’s adult entertainment industry, the Job Centre will give you a career path. Whether you fancy yourself the next big star or just want to dip a toe into the raunchy side of life, they are there for you.
‘”We don’t discriminate,” says Karen Fudge. “It’s about equal opportunities for all races and creeds and genders.”
Porn star Velocity Curves says that this is more than a job, it’s a calling.
If you think being a porn star is all about lounging in silk robes, being fanned with palm leaves, and occasionally uttering lines like “Oh, yes, baby, just like that”? Think again! Despite its glamorous facade, the world of a porn actress is more akin to running a marathon in stilettos than a walk in the park. It’s a job that demands dedication, professionalism, and an iron-clad work ethic. It’s a lot more than a love of cock.
Hard Work Behind the Scenes
Physical Fitness: Imagine holding a yoga pose for hours while maintaining a sultry smile – that’s a typical day on set. Performers need to be in top physical shape to endure the often grueling shoots. Flexibility, stamina, and strength are just the basics. It’s hard work.
From romantic scenes to high-action sequences, a porn star needs to adapt quickly to different genres and styles, because porn is not just about fucking. It’s more about projecting an illusion that this is all reality. This versatility requires not just physical but also mental agility to switch gears smoothly from one persona into another.
Squeelio has obtained a copy of career advice info pack given to job seekers.
Get to Know the Biz
Before you dive in, do your homework! Learn about the industry, its glittering history, and who’s who. Think of it as Porn 101 – without the boring lectures. Websites like AVN and XBIZ are like the adult industry’s Hogwarts, minus the robes.
Make sure you’re on the right side of the law. You need to be at least 18 to perform, and you must follow the BBFC’s guidelines on explicit content. It’s like being a rebel, but within the lines – a sexy, legal rebel.
Build Your Brand
Alter Ego Activation: Choose a stage name that screams “star” – we all recognise a good porn name when we see one, and we also know the old fashioned one. Stormy doesn’t cut it anymore. Create a professional image with snazzy social media profiles and maybe even a website. You’re not just a star; you’re a brand!
Self made quality content is your ticket to stardom. Invest in decent gear – nobody wants to watch grainy videos from your mum’s old camcorder. Good lighting and clear sound are your new best friends. There is a market for the grunge look, but that is a niche that won’t make you a star.
Network Like a Pro: Attend industry events, join adult forums, and rub elbows with the pros. Networking in the porn industry is just like any other job – only with more interesting stories at the office Christmas party.
Reach out to reputable studios and agencies like Adult Talent Managers (ATM) and UK Porn Star Agency. Think of it as applying for a job, but with more nudity.
Be ready for auditions. Present yourself well, set your boundaries, and always get things in writing. It’s like a job interview, but way more fun.
If you’re a bit of a control freak, create your own content for platforms like OnlyFans or ManyVids. You’re the boss, and you get to keep all the tips!
And remember Safety First, Sexy Second. Stay Clean: Regular STI testing is a must. It’s like getting your car MOT’d but for your bits. Check out services like THT for regular check-ups.
The industry can be tough on your pysche. Make sure you have a support system – friends, family, or even a therapist who gets it.
Treat your new career like a business. Save those pennies, pay your taxes, and maybe don’t blow your first paycheck on a gold-plated hot tub.
Never Stop Learning . Take Acting lessons, fitness training, and learning about the latest trends can keep you ahead of the game. Think of it as continuing education, but with more moaning.
Take advantage of workshops and seminars. Stay updated and keep your performances fresh – like a fine wine that gets better with age.
The ladies who make it to the top are intelligent. They may not be university educated (though some are) and be rough around the edges, but you got to be smart. There’s a lot of scumbags out there, on the margins who prey on the naïve newbies. Unless you are sure you can navigate the world of porn, stay at home and watch it on your phone or laptop or whatever. You don’t want to exit after a few months, with nothing to show and psychologically damaged.
